Open Question: My girlfriend used to be a slut.. should I stay with her? How do I get over this?

8 February 2012, 11:13 pm

So I've known my girlfriend as a friend and boss for 3 years before we started dating. She's 22, I'm 21. She is from a conservative christian family (her father is a pastor) and always acts very proper when she knows she should. When we started, I started off by making moves on her months before we officially started dating when we were friends. I stole a kiss from her twice and she never really acted differently to that until one night we went to a show and she got drunk and we started hooking up and from that point on spent every day together having sex and 2 months later I moved in. we have been dating for 7 months now. As my boss and friend, i stayed over and hung out with her and her sister a lot. They've seen me at my best and worst. I can honestly say that I trusted her completely until recently. However, she has a slutty past.. she's been with 13 guys, almost all of them black, 4 of which were boyfriends, the rest she claimed to be "good friends" but I get the feeling they were fuck buddies only interested in using her. she had a very crazy "rebellion stage" where she drank a lot and did a number of other drugs (most only once) and slept around. Also, she used to hook up with more than one guy at a time - now, by this I don't mean threesomes, but like, one week she'd f*** one guy, while talking to another guy, and then f*** a different guy in the next week or two later. any way you put it, she'd be talking to or hooking up with more than one guy at a time and she says they were all aware of each other. Is it just me or is that plain slutty? Also, she's told me that she's cheated on one of her ex's. He had diabetes, I don't know much about diabetes but apparently he'd be unable to get out of bed for days at a time or something like that. so anyway, he doesnt talk to her for 5 days and she goes to a party and f***s someone. then she said she told him and broke up with him but that it was his fault that she did it because he didnt give her the attention she needed. Is that selfish or what then? Now here's the icing on the cake, Not only does she show little affection and is a little lacking in the appreciation department (she's sort of quiet and calm mostly), but i just found out that 4 weeks after that night that we went to the show and hooked up, yet before we had the bf/gf talk (mind you, we were spending every day together and getting very close) I went on a 3 week trip to Germany, and she f****ed on of her "friends" from her past while I was gone (more than once, idk). She doesnt bother to tell me until we're 6 months in. Now I really love this girl and trust(ed) her a lot but the thought of all those guys being with her is killing me, and that she's cheated before and could easily do it again with no remorse is killing me even more. I feel like Im taking care of everyone else's sloppy seconds. And I'm starting a marketing company and going to school and I work long-ish hours, usually 9am-9 or 10 sometimes 11pm; how long until I'm not giving her the attention she needs? The worrying is killing me and I don't know what to do. She's said she's changed and she shows some signs of it and I believe her for the most part, but she also shows signs that she still clings to her old ways (like fucking someone while i was away and saying that when she cheated on her ex it was his fault) Is this worth it or am I just going to get hurt? I know people can change but they can also return to their old ways. < Thats what I'm afraid of. I really love this girl and if this can work out, I can see myself with her for the long run. But the fear of her cheating and the thought of all those other guys is killing me inside. P.S. - Please dont tell me "the past is the past so you should forget it" because in order to know what someone may be like in the future, you have to look at what they've done in the past cuz it says a LOOOOOT about who they are. I judge people on who they really are and what their actions say, not so much about what they say about themselves. If you respond, than you very much, I have been stuck on the fence about this and am very stressed and cant take it much longer.... Read More »

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